Bad day :(

Let's see this is how today went. I began this morning waking up softly in hopes Ira would not wake up. As soon as i moved, he was crying and whining. This has been the case every morning for as long as i can remember. Some days... when I am really lucky, he sleeps until after daddy leaves. But that hasn't happened in ages. thus every morning i have been frustrated, tired, and grumpy. i had to iron daddy's clothes, find boxers, and a white shirt. inside i am so mad i didn't get laundry put away entirely (see my last post).

made coffee and couldn't drink it. ira was clinging on to me and wouldnt let go so there was no chance of straightening up. baby geo woke up about 9am... then the fighting began... over ninja turtles, the waffle and drinks. "mom, ira took my drink, mom, ira dropped my waffle..." my plans to go to the library changed when i thought we wouldd have so much more fun reading books at home here. so i cleaned up the classroom (it doesn't look like that anymore) and began reading "fish" book as ira calls it. In the middle of reading it, ira practically ripped the book and wanted a new book... wait, no, he wants me to finish it... nope he wants a new one... ok... so he wouldn't decide. then he found baby geo's secret stash of toys. i begged baby geo to hide it somewhere else so we can distract ira as he is screaming... sigh.

i decided to show ira some computer games and logged into teletubbies, starfall, etc. Baby geo got upset (i still am not sure why) and he stormed away and threw a tantrum. i was so angry i couldn't control it anymore. i put him in the garage. he was crying. i hated myself for not being able to be more patient with him. he apologized and so did i. I came back to the classroom to find that ira pushed had the comptuer on some other screen. I tried to set geovanni up on the computer to find out that there is no sound. oh dear. what happened? i spent the next 90 minutes installing drivers and the operating system back in the computer. Ira had really messed it up.

At the end of it though, i whispered, "thank u Jesus!" never forgetting to praise Him even in the touhgest times and baby geo said, see mama? God heard me! baby geo proceeded to say that he had asked God to fix the computer cuz mama is frustrated and mad. i gave him a BIG hug and thanked him for praying for me... what an angel!

i got geovanni started on online school work and began trying to put ira to sleep. it took another 45 minutes to get him to calm down enough to fall asleep.... alas, it's 1:30 and now its time to start baby geo's school....

he wasn't that into it today. it was pulling teeth to get him to do any of it. let's just say school wasn't all that productive except the fact that he completed all the assignments...

then at 3:30 ira woke up. of course it was the same thing... he was mad and moody again and it lasted another hour before he finally was "up and at 'em". i spent the next hour crying to my papi chulo about how frustrating the day was. there is nothing i despise more than feeling so horrible and not understanding truly why. but daddy helped me figure out that it was because i need to understand that there is a such thing as a bad day. i guess i have a hard time with that because i feel like i cant have bad days. the boys (including daddy) depend on me. I also think its because there is almost no time to reflect or even have a moment to my self. as any mom would know, one can't even go to the bathroom without being interuppted...

nights are not an option because we plop down all exhausted and the boys won't even sleep until we fall asleep. also, mornings... well you know how that goes already. So when can we even have some time to just breathe? i know it is a phase and right now i am so thankful my papi chulo is supportive and undertandning. i really feel truly blessed that even though i think i am insane myself, daddy won't say that to me :)